Little Birds
by Diane Long
Summary: Chapter four up! A tragic turn of events breaks Kaoru's heart. Will Kenshin be able to console her?
1. Chapter One

Little Birds  
  
A Rurouni Kenshin fanfiction by Diane Long  
  
Chapter One  
  
Blood.  
  
It was everywhere: Red splatters on the rice papered screens; slow moving rivulets seeping into the tatami; even the low ceiling was adorned with crimson droplets. For a flash of a moment, she wasn't sure how it had gotten there.  
  
Out in the hall her red footprints were smeared along the rare hardwood flooring. That, for some reason, caught her dazed attention. She looked at the footprints, then back down at her tabi socks. A short while ago, they had been a brilliant white, now they were a wet vermillion except for the area between her toes that flashed like snow when she flexed her feet.  
  
Everything was cold and disconnected. Her head felt like it might float away from her body at any moment. She couldn't be sure that it wasn't already happening. She was looking through her eyes, but she wasn't herself. Why was there blood everywhere?  
  
She shivered as a cold wind nipped at her exposed throat. The candle on her dressing table flickered casting strange shadows over her room. She moved her face to the source of the breeze, noting the open sliding doors that lead out to the garden. Keeping her gaze high, the first thing she saw was the deep blue of the sky and the crisp edges of the wintry sickle moon. Then she let her eyes drop to the shadows of the two bodies out on the engawa. One's head was missing and the other hung half-way off the porch, missing a shoe on one foot.  
  
She looked back inside, searching for the missing sandal. Instead she saw three more still men, their gashes and bloody punctures quite clear by the light of her candles and lamps. They looked as if they should be in considerable pain.  
  
They looked stiff.  
  
They looked … dead.   
  
Her father's katana slipped from her hands and she crouched down in her ruined yellow kimono, her elaborately tied blue obi half-undone and trailing behind her in the gore. What had she done? Unable to answer even herself, she watched her feet.  
  
Flex: White.  
  
Flex: Red.  
  
Flex: White.  
  
She couldn't really think anymore. There wasn't room in her mind. All that seemed to matter was finding that small patch of white. The part that wasn't stained.  
  
"Ms. Kaoru!"  
  
Her head snapped up at her name. "Mmm?" she murmured faintly as a white and pink blur sped past her line of vision.  
  
His body tense and shaking, Kenshin stood with his back to her, his sakabattou drawn and ready as his ice-blue eyes searched the room for trouble. "What happened here?" he demanded harshly, his voice sounding cruel and gritty.  
  
She stared at the brightness of his hair, entranced by it. Kenshin. Kenshin was here! The clouds obscuring her thoughts started to part with his presence.  
  
His sword lowering, but still at the ready, he looked back over his shoulder at her, his eye quirking menacingly. "Tell me what happened," he demanded.  
  
Kaoru titled her head away from that fierce gaze, looking back to her drenched socks and chewing on her bottom lip.   
  
He stared hard at her for a moment, then blinked obviously making an effort to calm down. His eyes slowly clearing back into a rich purple, Kenshin's shoulders relaxed as he took a deep breath. He cast a final look about the room before sheathing his sword and carefully turning to face Kaoru. He went to his knees, one hand supporting him on the floor and the other ready on the hilt of his sword. "Ms. Kaoru?" he whispered in a soft voice closer to his usual kind tones.  
  
Kaoru turned her head to look at him fully, her deep blue irises almost consumed by her pupils. She could feel something sticky on her face, but couldn't quite remember what it was. She fought the urge to wipe it away. Why was he staring like that?  
  
He never looked at her so directly or with such emotion. What was wrong? Was it the way she looked?  
  
Her hands fluttered about her head as she tried to straighten her hair. It seemed to have fallen from the up-style she had been experimenting with that evening. She averted her eyes from him coyly as she tried to pat the loose strands back in place. It wasn't working. Her hair seemed to keep slipping from the bun.  
  
"Please Ms. Kaoru, answer me?" Kenshin pleaded, his wide eyes watching her with disbelief and horror vying for control of his features.  
  
She gave up on her hair, letting her hands fall slack into her lap. "Ne, Kenshin?" Something she was trying not to think about was breaking through… it almost had her attention.  
  
"Are you hurt?" he asked, his eyes focusing on the blood on her face as he reached a tentative hand towards her.  
  
  
  
She looked down and stared at the red rings around her cuticles. "No." It was coming back to her… she had… she had….  
  
Very, very, slowly, he laid his hand upon her shoulder as if he feared to spook her. "What – what has happened here?" he whispered fearfully.  
  
"I don't…" her breath hitched. "I d-don't…" again her throat seized upon her words. "Ken – shi – n," she hiccupped as tears found their way into her mouth and choked her. Blood everywhere… a head flying free from its shoulders….  
  
He leaned forward on his knees and gathered her back to his chest holding her tightly, the full sleeves of his faded red gi enveloping her. "Are you really alright?" he whispered fiercely. "Truly?"  
  
She just shook, frightened by the way he sounded, by what she was remembering, by what she had done. She drew in several short, raspy breathes, reaching up to grip his arms. "I… I… I…." Death…slaughter….  
  
"You're safe, now," he whispered as he rocked her slowly back and forth. "Safe with me."  
  
She bent her head and pressed her mouth to the forearms that wrapped around her chest, muffling the whimper that curled out of her throat.  
  
"Safe," he reaffirmed, easing one arm free and clutching her head to him, lacing his long fingers through her ruined hair.  
  
She heaved in a breath and let it out as a loud sob, covering her eyes as her shoulders shook. The harder she pressed against her eyelids the sharper the visions became.  
  
Looking about himself helplessly for a moment, Kenshin eyed the wreck of a room. All of Kaoru's possessions were either trampled or bloody. It was all ruined. He tightened his hold on Kaoru as her cries shook her body.  
  
"Shit!" came a loud voice from outside the room.  
  
Kenshin craned his head to look back out into the hall. "Sano!"  
  
The tall gangster ran into the room, splashing through the blood, paying no heed as the darkening red drops stained the wrappings on his shins. He looked at Kenshin's armful with dread. "Kaoru!"  
  
"She is unhurt," Kenshin soothed, caressing the top of her head.  
  
Sano blinked as he took in the blood and the bodies the white of his clothing seeming extra bright in the setting. "Shit, man, what did you do?" He looked at Kenshin in shocked disbelief. "I was only a few minutes behind you on the road. How could this happen so fast?"  
  
Kenshin motioned downwards with his head. "It… it wasn't me, Sanosuke."  
  
Sano's jaw dropped and he ran a hand through his bushy brown hair. "Not the Little Missy?"  
  
Kenshin bit his lip and looked between the shattered girl in his arms and his best friend. "I'm not sure… but…." He looked pointedly to the bloodied steel near Kaoru's feet.  
  
Sano's eyes narrowed. "So where's the kid?"  
  
Kenshin's back straightened at that. He ran a soft finger down Kaoru's cheek to get her attention. "Ms. Kaoru," he whispered urgently, "where is Yahiko?"  
  
Kaoru moaned, and lowered her hands her fingers digging into Kenshin's arm. "My Yahiko," she said brokenly, trying to catch enough breath to speak. "My little Yahiko."  
  
"Where is he?" Kenshin repeated.  
  
Kaoru sniffed and pulled her head up to look balefully at Kenshin as her breathing calmed. "He's in the dojo." Her eyes were red and her cheeks glistened with tears.  
  
"Hey Yahiko, get your ass in here!" Sano bellowed. He tilted his head and threw Kenshin a wild look. "I can't believe that kid, hiding at a time like this. Not when Kaoru needs his help!"  
  
Rubbing her tears away, Kaoru graced Kenshin with a strange smile. "He won't answer."  
  
"Is he hurt?" Kenshin asked with deep concern.  
  
Her smile fading, Kaoru pulled away from Kenshin and pushed her self to her feet using his shoulders for support. She swayed a bit as she let go, but found her balance again as she left the room, holding her kimono closed when the obi fell off completely.  
  
"Shock," Sano said briefly as looked to Kenshin. "I don't think she's killed before."  
  
"Of course she hasn't!" Kenshin snapped, rising to his feet.  
  
"Easy, easy!" Sanosuke said holding up his hands. "I'm just saying…."  
  
"Then try not to speak," Kenshin sighed. "Now is not the time." He hurried after Kaoru.  
  
Taking tiny, lady-like steps she padded gracefully through the hallway as the men followed her with hard eyes that watched the shadows. She turned the corner and ghosted through the training hall's massive doorway into the darkened room.   
  
Before her in a pool of deeper shadow, Yahiko laid spread eagle, a dark gash cut through his stomach. By his open hand lay his shinai, its tip cracked and bent. Kaoru stopped short of the body and watched as Kenshin and Sano shot past her.  
  
"Gods!" Sano shouted, dropping to his knees and grabbing at Yahiko's hand. He started chaffing it furiously. "This isn't happening!"  
  
"Yahiko?" Kenshin questioned softly. He squatted near the boy and reached a trembling hand out to check his pulse.  
  
"He's dead," Kaoru announced, her voice ringing through the quiet darkness of the large room.  
  
Kenshin drew his hand back and straightened, looking to her with wide, wide eyes. "Ms. Kaoru?"  
  
Kaoru swayed where she stood. "He jumped in front of me."  
  
Kenshin hurried towards her as her knees seemed to buckle.  
  
"The blow was for me," she choked, losing control of her legs. She felt Kenshin's strong arms close around her and save her knees from a sharp impact with the floor.  
  
Kenshin lowered her gently and met Sano's dilated eyes with his own, arching an eyebrow in question before he gave Kaoru his full attention.  
  
Sano shrugged and looked back down on the boy they had all come to love. He smoothed his large hand down the small face and closed Yahiko's coldly staring eyes. His shoulders drooping with sorrow, the tall man stood guard over the body while Kenshin attended to Kaoru.  
  
"I was trying to get to the shomen," Kaoru was saying, her entire body beginning to convulse. "I was trying to get to father's sword… they had cut my bokken in half. They cornered me… they were going to k-kill me… but little Yahiko…" The rest of her story was lost to the sudden onset of hyperventilation.  
  
Kenshin shushed her with low sounds, resting his head on top of hers. "Don't try to speak. Just take deep breaths." By taking exaggeratedly deep and slow breaths he set the rhythm for her to follow. "Just like that. Breathe in and out," he encouraged.  
  
"She killed five men all by herself? That fucking blows me away," Sano murmured from his place at Yahiko's side.  
  
"Sano," Kenshin warned in a low voice as he felt Kaoru lose the rhythm of her breathing at the remark.  
  
" 'The sword that protects'," Kaoru whispered bitterly. "I failed, you father. I failed."  
  
Kenshin scooped Kaoru into his arms and slowly rose to his feet. "I thank your father that you are still alive," he murmured into her hair. "Sanosuke, please go get Megumi and help her take care of Yahiko. I'm going to help Miss Kaoru get cleaned up."  
  
"You sure I should leave you?" Sano gripped his hands into tight fists. "This is clearly far from over."  
  
"Clearly," Kenshin agreed dryly. "However, I think we have seen the last of this evil for tonight.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Whoever is behind this didn't expect Kaoru to be able to defend herself. It will take at least a day for them to realize why their men didn't return."  
  
Sano slowly got to his feet. "What if she didn't get them all Kenshin? I don't want to leave you open for a trap." He cracked his knuckles and stretched his neck. "I don't like it."  
  
"The fact that Miss Kaoru is alive tells us that she got them all. Once this type of violence starts it isn't over until either the target or the attacker is dead." He looked Sano straight in the eye. "You know that."  
  
A/N: I hope you all liked that! After writing 13 Tenchi Muyo stories and 13 Daria stories I needed a break from fanfiction. These characters are harder to get a handle on but I am enjoying it. Does anyone want more of this fic? Please review and let me know! Smooooch! Di 


	2. Chapter Two

Little Birds  
  
A Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction by Diane Long  
  
Chapter Two  
  
Pale winter sunlight seeped into the bedroom casting a pure, white glow on the young boy sleeping deeply on the futon. Thick blankets were tucked snugly around his neck and his black, spiky hair twisted into sleep-induced snarls. The healing cuts on his face gave him a rather worn and battered appearance.  
  
Wearing a white kimono with a sprinkling of pale blue squares around the hem and edges of her sleeves, Kaoru sat in seiza at his side and gently smoothed the blanket. She watched over him with a loving smile. It had been so close. She had nearly lost him because of his bravery and sacrifice. If it wasn't for him she would be the one sorely wounded or maybe even dead.  
  
Her hand crept up past his face and flicked a few stray hairs back from his forehead with tender care. From now on she would be more open about how much she loved him. He would know he was her brother. There would be no doubt.  
  
He would probably act like he hated it, but it didn't matter. He would know his place in her heart and never again be at risk of dying without that knowledge.  
  
Even in Meji, life was likely to be hard and brief for outcasts like her adopted family. It had been stupid not to tell him and she regretted every wasted day that he might have doubted his position in her affections.  
  
She gripped her hands tightly in self-recrimination as she watched Yahiko sleep. If nothing else, she would be sure to be by his side the very moment he awoke.  
  
After a moment, she heard Kenshin's shuffling footsteps behind her. A silly conceit of his was to make extra noise so his stealth wouldn't startle her. It was irritating because it implied she was easily startled and weak, but knowing he did it out of kindness she stilled her tongue – most times. But today she was full of hope and it made her more than a little mischievous.  
  
Quelling the urge to overact, she gasped and pretended to be surprised when he kneeled at her side carefully balancing a round tray bearing an iron tea pot and two pottery cups resting on small wooden coasters. "Oh! Kenshin! I didn't hear you," she teased.  
  
"Oro!" he muttered in surprise, his eyes widening and his mouth forming a perfect circle before his lips slid into a smile. "I am sorry about that Ms. Kaoru." He set the tea tray down. "I will try to be more careful in the future." He set about pouring the tea, fussing over the process as if to cover his chagrin. His hair was even messier than normal and it added to his addled appearance.  
  
She could tell he wasn't sure if she were telling the truth by the querying tilt of his head and the way he bit his lower lip. He would never call her on it, but she wondered if he was insulted or was taking it as the joke she intended. She chuckled a little bit and nudged his shoulder with hers.  
  
He swayed way more than necessary from the impact and looked at her with twinkling eyes. "What?" he asked clulessly as he tipped over onto his back, kicking his legs weakly. She wryly noticed that he had managed to neatly set the tea pot down without spilling a single drop as he 'fell'.  
  
Her eyes narrowed. He knew she was teasing and was teasing HER right back. With a friendly glare she reached out and gave his arm a healthy pinch.   
  
"Ow!" he moaned, still playing it up as he rolled on the floor. "You don't know your own strength Ms. Kaoru!"  
  
"Can't you guys keep it down?" complained a voice that was a shadow of Yahiko's usual nasal whine.  
  
"Little Yahiko!" Kaoru exclaimed in delight, abandoning Kenshin and bending down to kiss Yahiko's cheek.  
  
"Oh, yuck!" the youngster complained. "And don't call me little!"  
  
"I don't care!" Kaoru declared holding his face in her hands. "I'm so happy you are alright." Her voice cracked at the end of her words and big tears clung to the tips of her eyelashes.  
  
Realization flashed across Yahiko's face, and under the blankest his hands traced the wound on his chest. "Kaoru, are you okay too? Did you get those guys?" he asked in a rush.  
  
Tears falling freely, Kaoru removed her hands from him and placed them in her lap. "Yes, I am fine. Thanks to you, little brother."  
  
Yahiko's face heated with two bright spots glowing on his cheeks.  
  
"You saved Ms. Kaoru from terribly injury, that you did," Kenshin said gravely. "You have used your sword to protect, and when that wasn't enough you used your own body." He laid a fatherly hand over Yahiko's shoulder being careful not to press too hard on the wounds. "I am very proud of you, Yahiko."  
  
"We love you," Kaoru added anxious to get the words out. "We love you so much."  
  
Yahiko's blush flamed over his entire face and his jaw locked into an expression that was caught between happiness and abject horror.  
  
Laying her hand over Kenshin's, Kaoru's loving smile turned sharp and wicked. "Therefore I can't allow your technique to remain so weak. Those guys shouldn't have been able to touch you!" she trumpeted with a mock scowl on her face.  
  
Yahiko's expression settled on outrage, a safe and comfortable place to be with his adopted big-sister-mother. "You ungrateful, old, HAG!" he sputtered.  
  
Kaoru nodded in satisfaction catching Kenshin's eye and giving a merry wink. "As soon as your better that's going to cost you…."  
  
"...100 swings," Kaoru mumbled as she woke to stare up at a strange ceiling. She looked at it a moment, uncertain where she was. Where was Yahiko? Why was she in bed? She just lay there blinking as the last vestiges of sleep left her mind.   
  
The room was too dark to be hers. There were no windows and no doors to the engawa. She squinted through the dimness trying to work out her location, her dream fast slipping away from her.  
  
She shifted in her soft pallet and winced at the sharp pain in her arm and down her side. Ouch. That must have been some practice with Yahiko yesterday if her muscles were this sore. As she adjusted her position trying to get more comfortable, her eyes alighted on a small chest with burnished brass fittings at the corners and lacquered knobs on the drawers. Now, that she recognized. She was in Kenshin's room. She burrowed her face into the blankets and inhaled deeply, taking in his spicy scent that lingered there. A slow blush rose to her cheeks as she pondered just why she might be in his bed. Was that why she was so sore? Goodness!  
  
Just as she squeezed her eyes shut with giddy embarrassment at the very THOUGHT, the sound of heavy scrubbing caught her ears. What was that? She opened her eyes and listened carefully as the scrubbing paused and was replaced by the wet sound of water being poured over a hard surface. There was a dull rattle of wooden objects clacking together and then the scrubbing sound resumed.  
  
Kenshin wouldn't be up cleaning the floors the morning after, now would he? Even he wouldn't be that unromantic. Her tense shoulders relaxed and she felt more relieved than disappointed. So why was she in his room? Was he protecting her from some mess, she joked to herself.  
  
Her eyes widened as a thought occurred to her. Was he hiding a mess, maybe? Wincing, she thought of all of the trouble her male houseguests could get into. And, of course, the other culprits would leave Kenshin to clean it all up. It would be just like them. She pushed the covers back and sat up, intending to go find out what was going on.  
  
She grimaced as the pain in her arm and torso blossomed into red fire that left her eyes dazzled. As her vision cleared she realized she was wearing one of Kenshin's shabbier, faded, red dogi jackets instead of her typical sleeping yukata. Feeling true worry for the first time that morning, she slid the gi open to see extensive bandages covering the areas that hurt so much. The wrappings were clean and tight, but the pain had been so intense she had expected to seem the spotted with red.  
  
Closing the gi, she gingerly pushed herself out of her warm nest of blankets and rose to stand on shaky legs despite how much it hurt to move. Something very bad had happened. Why couldn't she remember anything about last night? She barley cared to notice the gi was long enough to cover her to her knees. That was good enough for now.   
  
Three hesitant steps had her opening the sliding doors and another had her out in the hall. She squinted against the brighter light of the house and made her way towards the sound of scrubbing. Four more steps brought her to the corner and as she turned it she saw Kenshin on his knees, half of him hidden with his socked feet sticking out of her room.  
  
"Stop," his voice commanded, using a rare, firm tone. "Do not come in here."  
  
She slid a step closer, her hands tracing along the wall for support. "Kenshin?" She eyed the buckets of pink, soapy, water in the hall as she smelled the sharp scent of borax.  
  
"Please," he said, more softly this time. "Don't look." He backed out of the room on all fours and pushed himself into a low squat as he gazed at her with deep, sorrowful eyes. He was wearing the dark hakama and gi he reserved for use when he tackled the dirtiest chores. His hair was up in a higher tail then usual, another sign he had been engaged in heavy duty cleaning.  
  
"Why not?" she whispered, fear coiling in her belly like a tight, cold spring.  
  
"Don't you know?" He sounded lost. He searched her gaze with his own, then awkwardly looked away.  
  
She clutched at her side which was now throbbing angrily at her. His voice scared her. He didn't sound like himself at all. She slid forward, edging her fingers around the frame of her door. What didn't he want her to see? Why wouldn't he look at her?  
  
"Don't," he breathed as she slowly looked through the doorway.  
  
At first, she didn't see what had him so upset. Her walls gleamed with cleanliness. It was odd that the shoji were missing several panels, but that wasn't such a big deal. She put her hands on her hips and looked down at him in exasperation.  
  
She was about to rebuke him for moving her to his room so he could get an early start on next year's spring cleaning when he looked back up at her and she got caught in his eyes. Their hard, yet frightened gleam made her shiver.  
  
She tilted her head at him, trying to understand.  
  
"I think the tatami will need replacing," he said weakly, slowly rising to stand.  
  
She looked to the floor and observed that several squares of bamboo matting were ripped out and missing while the remaining ones were soaked with water. Looking to Kenshin, she saw that he gripped a pink-tinged scrub brush so hard his hand was shaking. Her eyes flicked back to the too-clean walls and then the missing rice paper on the screens. She looked down at her own hands, and the dark substance crusted behind her fingernails.  
  
It came back to her all at once: The attack and Yahiko's sacrifice and her own actions.   
  
She covered her face, trying to block the visions in her mind by grinding the heels of her hands into her eyes. Her already weak knees gave way and she fell forward into the damp chest of her best friend. "No." The denial came out quiet and weak, so she shouted it louder. "No!!"   
  
This couldn't be real. Strong arms wrapped around her and pulled her close even as her mind tilted off its axis and she saw spots dancing behind her closed eyes.  
  
"I wish you hadn't looked," Kenshin whispered into her hair. "I wanted to erase it for you," he murmured, rubbing soothing hands over her back.  
  
Kaoru pulled in a choppy breath, the fumes from the cleaning agents stinging her nose. Her dream came back to her with startling clarity.  
  
"My little… Is he…."  
  
"Don't ask," Kenshin pleaded in a low, hitching voice.  
  
"Yahiko?" she asked into his neck, the torment in her words begging for a happy lie.  
  
Kenshin's arms contracted and he held her even more tightly. "I- well- he's gone, Miss Kaoru."  
  
She sucked in a sharp breath and let it out in a huff. No! That dream had been so real. She had to tell Yahiko how much she loved him. He had to be okay. He had to be! "Are you certain?" she quavered.  
  
"Yes." The heavy grief in Kenshin's voice should have convinced her, but she wanted a different answer so she refused to see.  
  
"But… Megumi!" she wailed, leaning back and twisting her hands in the lapels of his gi. "Megumi can work miracles! Go get her!" She demanded, giving him a vicious shake.  
  
Kenshin captured her arms and restrained her, the tears rimming his purple gaze confirming the reality of the situation. "Please, stop."  
  
"I will not stop! I will go get Megumi myself and we will fix this." She twisted against his hold, but he didn't budge.  
  
"Miss Kaoru, please," he pleaded gruffly. "It is impossible."  
  
"Megumi can do it!" she raged, fighting to free her arms and stomping on his feet. "Let me go!"  
  
Kenshin swore as she smashed his toes and hooked her legs with one of his own so they fell to the floor in a controlled tumble, his body under hers to take the impact. "Even Miss Megumi cannot undo death," he said with necessary coldness. "I'm so sorry. Yahiko is dead, my Kaoru."  
  
To be continued!  
  
AN: Well! It is just fine and dandy to be writing fan fiction again after my several month hiatus. I'm sorry my fellow Tenchi Muyo! Fans, but I can't get inspired by those characters anymore. I did see the first real episode of the third Tenchi OVA and I swear it could have been from one of my fan fictions. I was very pleased. To the Kenshin fans, thanks for the reviews. They gave me the confidence I needed to proceed with this story. It is always tough to get started with a new set of characters. I love reviews, they inspire me and make me write faster. Thanks sooooo much! Smooch! 


	3. Chapter Three

Little Birds  
  
A Rurouni Kenshin fanfiction by Diane Long  
  
Chapter Three  
  
"I think you have asked enough questions," Kenshin's low voice cut through the uncomfortable silence as he leaned forward and leveled a stern glare at the police chief.  
  
Kneeling in a triangular formation with Kaoru as the point behind them Kenshin and Sanosuke's postures spoke of controlled irritation. The candle lanterns' dim light cast the colors of their clothing into muted shades and made their eyes glitter dangerously.  
  
Kaoru kept her head bowed so that her long raven hair, down loose this evening, obscured her eyes. Only her tightly gripped hands, so white they seemed to glow against the deep navy of her kimono, showed her tension.  
  
Sitting across the room from them Officer Kojishiro sighed and removed his small, wire-framed glasses and polished their round lenses on the sleeve of his uniform jacket. "Forgive me Mr. Himura, but I fear I must insist."  
  
"This is bullshit," Sanosuke spat, cracking his knuckles. "I think you should just get the hell out of here." He narrowed his eyes and jerked his head to indicate the woman behind him. "She doesn't want to talk right now."  
  
Kojishiro replaced his spectacles and took his time sliding them to just the right spot on the bridge of his nose. "Gentlemen, we have six dead people on our hands."  
  
Kaoru ducked her head even further down, as if she would like to curl in upon herself and disappear.  
  
Catching sight of the slight movement out of the corner of his eyes, Kenshin's expression tightened. He looked back to their guest and squared his shoulders. "Please, it was not right of me to ask you here. I wanted your help and it is clearly not helping Miss Kaoru to be asked all of these questions."  
  
"Asking me here was the wisest choice of action you could have made and I think you are well aware of that," Kojishiro said gravely, the brass buttons on his jacket gleaming in the candlelight. "You of all people know the punishment for murder."  
  
"Murder?!" Sano yelped. "It was clearly self-defense! Jou-chan was attacked!" He moved to stand but stopped when he felt Kaoru's hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Murder?" she asked in a stricken voice, looking at her visitor for the first time that evening.  
  
Kenshin rubbed a tired hand over his face, his weariness showing in his posture. "Sano, try not to make more out of this than there is."  
  
"Indeed," the police officer said with a slight nod. "Miss Kamiya, no one in this room is accusing you of anything improper. However, if this is allowed to become a sensationalist story in the newspapers that may well change."  
  
"That is what Kenshin said," Kaoru acknowledged softly, wrapping a lock of hair around a finger.  
  
"That is why, unpleasant as it may be, I need you to recount the details of that night so I can get an official police report on file before rumors start to fly." Kojishiro flipped open a small note pad and held a pencil at the ready. "Otherwise I would not press you so."  
  
"Who's gonna tell?" Sano groused. "I say we keep it quiet. It always works for me."  
  
"Miss Kaoru lives an unconventional life as a single woman teaching kendo who shares her home with two, sometimes three, unrelated men," Kenshin said reluctantly. "It could cast her character in a bad light in the wrong situation. We need to be very careful."  
  
"I see," Kaoru answered for Sano. This was the first time she had heard the full logic of Kenshin's request for her to speak to the police chief. He had tried to shield her from shame, but now the truth of his words was undeniable. There were already unsavory rumors about her in town. If she were to be accused of murder, no matter how ridiculous the story was, there would be plenty of people ready to believe it.  
  
Kenshin leaned back and caught her eye with a worried look, clearly unhappy about telling the whole truth of his motivations. "Not that there is anything wrong with your character," he clarified.  
  
She nodded that she understood, hoping he could tell she had not taken offense, hoping the lamp light hid the flush that came to her cheeks. Sometimes the truth hurt. She was an unusual woman and was normally proud of it. Tonight however, it seemed foolish to fight against tradition. Look where it might get her.  
  
Kenshin mistook her silence. "But if it is still too difficult for you to talk about we can surely wait a day or two."  
  
She tried to smile for him, but it didn't amount to much. He was always trying to protect her. "Thank you, but I think Officer Kojishiro is correct. There are many people in Tokyo who would gladly see me come to shame. I can't take the risk." She looked to the policeman and tried to be brave. "What do you want to know?"   
  
She had half-expected Kenshin and Sano to give her some privacy. When they didn't budge, she wasn't really surprised either. Waves of protective energy radiated from their stiff backs and she felt great comfort taking shelter behind them, even if she wasn't normally one to hide. These circumstances were far from normal.  
  
Kojishiro cleared his throat and took on a cool, professional demeanor. "Were you alone that evening?"  
  
Kaoru's gaze turned inward. "It was just Yahiko…" her voice caught in the name, "…and my self. Kenshin and Sano were… out," she said carefully, omitting the fact they were very likely out gambling.  
  
"What time was it and what were you doing?"  
  
"It was seven pm and I was trying out new hairstyles. Yahiko was in the dojo doing kata with his shinai." It was becoming easier to say his name.  
  
"Kata in the evening?" the officer asked with mild surprise.  
  
"He had insulted the dinner I made for him," she said in a pained voice. "It was his punishment. 200 swings." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes tightly as she fought to hold back the tears.  
  
"Then what happened?"  
  
"There was a knock on the front gate. I went to answer it, but no one was there when I opened the door. I went back to my room wondering if Yahiko was playing a prank on me." Kaoru opened her eyes and flicked them towards the front door, then back to Kojishiro. "I sat back down to my mirror and noticed that my room was colder than it had been when I left. It was then that the shoji to the porch flew open and five men with katana rushed inside." Kaoru's words sped up at the end as she began to relive the moment, her hands fisting into the fabric of her kimono at her knees.  
  
"Why the knock on the door, do you think?" Kojishiro asked calmly, breaking the build-up of her story purposefully.  
  
The question made her pause and drew her back to the present. Breathing easily again, Kaoru responded. "To try and sneak into the house through my room, I imagine. I think the locks on the heavy winter shutters slowed them down and they were forced to engage me prematurely."  
  
Kojishiro nodded and made a note. "Carry on."  
  
"I grabbed my bokken from the stand near my desk and met them, only I was wearing a kimono and not my normal training clothing. I could not move properly and was cut upon my chest and arms immediately." Kaoru paused and gathered her thoughts, her pulse beating wildly in her chest. She gulped as she remembered the shock of cold metal searing across her breasts.  
  
"I don't see you in many traditional garments," the chief said thoughtfully. "I find it interesting that you wear them at home."  
  
"Even I like to be pretty from time to time," she snapped, grounded again.  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Anyway, it was clear they were after my life and I ran for the dojo where I keep my father's sword. I knew I would need steel to survive."  
  
She met the officer's eyes as if inviting him to condemn her for defending herself. He nodded for her to continue, all the while taking quick and precise notes of her words.  
  
"I yelled for Yahiko to run and get Kenshin and I think he would have obeyed me if things had happened differently. The wound on my chest was bleeding heavily and I slipped in my own blood just has he started to run out the side door." Kaoru stopped again and choked back the bile that rose in her throat. What happened next was ugly.  
  
"Then what happened?"  
  
"The rest you know. They killed Yahiko and I killed them." She breathed rapidly through her nose, trying to be calm, but all too easily remembering the metallic tang of the scent of blood.  
  
"You know you must give me more detail than that," Kojishiro coaxed, smoothing down his small moustache with a pinky.  
  
Kaoru nodded and cradled her head in her hands. "Fine. When I fell – they were all over me in an instant, trying to take my weapon away, holding me down, joking about which one would get the right to take my head. I – I was losing to them, I still had my bokken and was managing to hurt them but there were five of them and they all had blades." Her voice was rising in pitch with every word. "I saw Yahiko hesitate and screamed for him to get going but he went the wrong way! He came running to me instead of away from me!!" Kaoru's voice broke and pitiful cries gurgled out of her throat. "I told him to go, I told him to run!" she sobbed.  
  
"Of course you did," the police chief murmured. "Please take a moment to calm yourself."  
  
"Why didn't he run?!" Kaoru shrilled. "I couldn't protect the both of us!"  
  
"That's enough for tonight," Kenshin said scooting back to her on his knees and sitting close. He placed a tentative hand on her elbow, which she shook off.  
  
She removed her hands from her face and stared at Kenshin defiantly as bright tears traced down her cheeks. "I'm going to finish," she growled.  
  
Kenshin winced at her tone, but made no further efforts to calm her.  
  
Kaoru's cheeks glowed with emotion as she continued. "He ran like the brave Samurai he growing up to be and smacked them off of me with his shinai alone. I was able to get up and together we fought our way to the tokonoma. I didn't have to tell him what I needed: He was warrior enough to know!"  
  
Kenshin looked alarmed at the rising hysteria in her voice and allowed himself to stroke her arm. "Miss Kaoru, please, let's just…."  
  
"Then they killed him!" she shouted, ignoring Kenshin. "I had just made it to the sword and before I could draw it they all came at me at once. Yahiko jumped in front of me and they sliced through him like he was paper!" An anguished sob tore through her and she reached down and clutched at Kenshin's hand. "His blood was all over me and they didn't stop! They kicked him to the side and kept coming." She crushed her head into Kenshin's shoulder, not even noticing when his arms closed around her.  
  
"Shit, this is more than enough. Kojishiro, you have got to go," Sano demanded. "Don't do this to her."  
  
"Wait!" Kaoru demanded. "I'm not finished yet." She snorted back her tears and lifted her angry face to stare down the still calm police officer. "Those few seconds let me draw my sword and I did not waste them," she said with cold fury. "My father made sure I knew how to defend myself."  
  
"Against five large men?" The chief pressed.  
  
"You watched me grow up in this city. You know I would have been a national kendo champion if I would have been allowed to compete." She glared at him. "Those monsters came into my home and attacked me. They killed my ward. I was within my rights."  
  
"True." Kojishiro closed his notebook with a snap. "That is all I will need to help protect you legally, Miss Kamiya. I am terribly sorry to have upset you in the process." He neatly rose to his knees and brushed off his pants. "Mr. Himura, I am leaving you to provide the proper physical defenses. I trust I need not make this an official request for aide?"  
  
Kenshin shook his head absently, "Of course not."  
  
"Then I will see myself out. Please report to me in the usual fashion." He quickly left the room and it's highly emotional occupants.  
  
Kaoru realized she was panting and fought to control her breathing. For the past two days she had been walking around like a corpse possessed by a weak oni, hardly speaking or eating. Now she felt a righteous boil of anger rolling through her veins and she wanted to take action.  
  
"Miss Kaoru?" Kenshin asked hesitantly.  
  
She noticed she was still pressed firmly against him and quickly sprang to her feet and stepped away. She paced the length of the room and scrubbed the tears from her face with her fists. She spun around and took in the comical sight of Kenshin and Sano kneeling almost side-by-side both looking rather pole-axed. For some reason , it struck her as hilariously funny and before she knew what she was doing great peals of laughter were escaping her.  
  
"Hoo-boy," Sano said, casting Kenshin a side-ways glance. "She's lost it."  
  
"No, no!" she giggled. "You should see the looks on your faces! You looked like Kabuki masks!" She held her sides and giggled some more.  
  
"I think I'll go make us some tea," Kenshin said delicately, rising to his feet. "Miss Kaoru must be thirsty after all of that talking."  
  
"Don't leave me in here with her like this," Sano complained, watching Kenshin escape the room.  
  
Kaoru padded over to him, her white socks whispering over the tatami. "What," she snickered. "Are you afraid of me now?"  
  
"No," he answered awkwardly, looking away from her.  
  
"Then what is it?" she demanded, sliding back into anger. "Do I disgust you now or something?"  
  
"No, of course you don't!" he back pedaled, sounding trapped.  
  
"Then what's the problem?" she yelled, reaching out and grabbing a handful of his hair and giving it a sound tug.  
  
"Ow! There is no problem." He tried to pry her hands out of his hair. "Will you stop that? It hurts!"  
  
Letting go, she sank to her knees and patted his cheek softly, her anger suddenly swallowed up by the pit of depression in her stomach. "Seriously, how can you stand to be around me after I let that happen to Yahiko?" she whispered.   
  
Sano blinked rapidly. "Well Jou-chan… you know we don't…we all…it's not your…it's just that…" He struggled for words, clearly not knowing what to say.  
  
Kaoru started to tear up again. "Just that what? You hate me?"  
  
Sano looked up in relief as Kenshin entered the room bearing a tea tray loaded with three steaming cups of liquid. "Kenshin, help me out here! I'm no good a this sort of thing."  
  
Kenshin handed Sano his tea with out a word. He knelt by Kaoru and proffered her a cup. She took it numbly, watching him carefully as he at last took up his own cup and put the tray to the side.  
  
"Drink your tea," Kenshin instructed as if it were the answer to everything. He followed his own advice and took a long swallow.  
  
"Do you hate me?" Kaoru asked in a lost voice. "I'm sorry."  
  
Kenshin looked her with a gentle violet gaze. "We could never hate you, Miss Kaoru."  
  
Kaoru sniffed into her tea and avoided his eyes. "Now you know everything."  
  
"We just want to protect you," he said after taking another sip.   
  
"Even from my self?" she asked thinking how she wasn't fit to protect anything.  
  
Kenshin looked at her knowingly. "Especially from yourself."  
  
To be continued!  
  
A/N: Thanks for the great reviews everyone!! You keep me going. It's awesome to see some of my Tenchi friends are also reading this fic. It's been awesome to hear from you guys again. Did I get the police Chief's name right? I researched it on the net and that was the answer I found: Kojishiro. 


	4. Chapter Four

Little Birds  
  
A Rurouni Kenshin fanfiction by Diane Long  
  
Chapter Four  
  
Feeling the cold seep into her, Kaoru watched the shadows of the snow laden pines through the rice papered screen doors. Her sturdy practice clothing provided more insulation from the sharp winter air than did her silk kimonos, but not much more. Usually in the dead of winter the shutters that drew over the screens locked out the cold as well as the light. However the attack on the dojo had left the shutters beyond repair revealing the outlines of the world beyond her room and inviting the cold breeze to come inside. In the warmer months, when the shutters were left open most days, she saw the shapes of leaves and plants through the shoji. Today she was privy to a new view of the silhouettes of bare branches and lonely conifers in the yard.   
  
This cold, this suffering, she deserved it.  
  
She looked from the dancing shadows to the flower arrangement on a low table by her elbow. Shoots of green were pushing up from the Paper White bulbs nestled in the shallow pottery dish. Leaning forward, she probed at a bulb with a delicate touch, watching how the tender roots had gained purchase on the smooth river stones that held the bulbs away from the water at the bottom of the container.   
  
Faint wisps of condensation hung in the air about her lips as she sighed.  
  
Last month, when Yahiko had given her this gift, she had suspected Kenshin's influence or at least his money. Why else would Yahiko give his ugly teacher a gift? She had begun to suspect otherwise when Yahiko had begun a habit of stopping by her room almost daily to see if the bulbs had begun to flower. Tae had later confirmed that Yahiko had worked to earn the money for the gift. Why he had felt the need to give her a present was unknown.   
  
She sighed again, her breath a frosty cloud . It was a shame he would never get a chance to see the flowers bloom. Tears began to prick at her eyes as she thought of the many things she would not be able to share with her ersatz little brother.  
  
It was all her fault. She had betrayed her ideals only to save herself. If she could have saved him too, her sins might not chafe her so. She was left with only loss and selfishness.  
  
"Ms. Kaoru!" Kenshin exclaimed from the doorway, tightening his make-shift scarf around the open throat of his pinkish dogi. His unbound hair covered his ears in an effort to keep them warm. The feet peeking out from his white hakama wore double layers of tabi socks.  
  
She looked up ruefully at the reprimand in Kenshin's tone. He was already striding across her room with a slight frown marring his features. With efficient, brisk, movements he snapped her screens open letting in a brief gust of snow filled air. In a moment he had the heavy outer shutters closed as well as they could be, and in another he had the screens closed again. It was an imperfect fix as plenty of light and cold still seeped in through the rice paper.  
  
Blowing on his hands, he looked at her with an expression that was almost cross. "This room is impossible to heat properly with the doors in this state," he asserted. He frowned even harder, as if he was becoming aware of his stern tones. "Perhaps you would like a bath to warm up?"  
  
"I'm fine Kenshin," Kaoru said, waving her hands at him as if to shoo him away. She was seeing more of his stronger side these days. It seemed that she could provoke his dark half quite easily by not taking proper care of herself. Even now she saw his struggle to keep from chastising her further. She had to give him credit for not saying that she should know better than to be in this frigid room. She knew he was thinking it.  
  
And she knew she deserved to be where she was as well as whatever reprimands he might give her.  
  
His eyes tracked the movements of her hands, noticing their faint shivers. He padded over to her side and knelt, taking one of her cold hands in his and chaffing it slightly. "Your hands are frozen," he murmured.  
  
She tilted her head away from him. "They are not so bad." She couldn't really feel them anymore so they didn't bother her.  
  
He switched hands, rubbing gently. "I could not find you," he said, the quiet strength in his voice underscoring his worry.  
  
"I am only in my room," she murmured, pulling her hand out of his grasp and taking care not to look at his face. He had been trying to get her to talk earlier in the morning; she worried that if she found herself caught in his eyes she might say more than she wanted.  
  
Kenshin was silent as he tentatively reached for her, stopping himself midway, his fingers tracing the air before her sleeve. He settled on clasping his hands in his lap and forcing eye contact with her by bending forward at the waist and looking up at her. "Is there something wrong with the spare room?"  
  
"No, it's fine," she said faintly, not wanting disparage the living space Kenshin had set up for her. She tried to smile for him, mostly to get him to leave, but knew she had failed when she couldn't feel it change the look of her face.  
  
Almost staring, Kenshin searched for a clue to her state of mind, his violet eyes flicking between her eyes and mouth.  
  
She was relieved to know her features were not revealing anything. Just as she couldn't really smile, nor could she truly frown. She knew he wanted to ask her why she was choosing to be in a cold room packed with painful memories. He was on the edge of pushing her to talk, she could tell by how he tense he was and by how long he had been looking her in the eyes. He was being uncharacteristically direct.  
  
After a long moment had passed in silence, Kenshin released her gaze. "Are you ready for lunch?" he asked instead of other, more difficult questions.  
  
"Have you cooked already?" she asked, hoping he hadn't and she could distract him from it.  
  
"Aa," he affirmed. "Miso, rice, and pickles."  
  
Kaoru nodded, noting how simple the menu was. She hadn't been very hungry these days and Kenshin in his own sweet way had tried to accommodate her by making the food suitable to a weak appetite.   
  
"That sounds nice," she said flatly, knowing that she better go eat a little bit if she did not want a worried rurouni plastered to her side all afternoon.   
  
"And maybe some fish too?" Kenshin added, watching her reaction closely.  
  
Kaoru's stomach cramped at the thought of eating. "Fish sounds good," she agreed, not really meaning it.  
  
"Then I will cut through the ice in the stream and catch you one!" he said with manufactured enthusiasm.  
  
Kaoru felt an ache starting behind her right temple and absently began rubbing at it. This was too much. "Kenshin, can we just… just stop? Please?"  
  
The false sparkle faded from Kenshin's eyes. "Stop what, Ms. Kaoru?"  
  
"Stop pretending that everything is OK."  
  
"I am not pretending," Kenshin said in a low voice.  
  
"Then why are you talking about lunch?" she accused.  
  
"Because we need to eat, Ms. Kaoru." Now it was Kenshin's turn to look away as they came as close to a real argument as they ever had. "That has not changed."  
  
"I hate eating," she muttered, sounding petulant.  
  
"Yahiko would not want to see you waste away for his sake," Kenshin said letting his fingertips trace along the edge of her dogi's sleeve as it lay draped over her knees.  
  
"What do you know about it?!" She snapped her arm away so he could not touch it.  
  
"I know that he loved you above all others," Kenshin reflected as he reached for her hand and took it in his own. "You were his mother and his sister. You protected him when everyone else in his life had exploited him."  
  
Kaoru tried to pull away again, but Kenshin's grasp remained firm. "Stop it," she pleaded, tears welling up in her eyes. His words pierced her heart. She should have protected him better that night.  
  
"You should have heard how he boasted about you to the other boys in town," Kenshin remembered fondly. "He loved being the only one whose big sister could do better kendo than almost all of the men in Tokyo. It was a great source of pride for him."  
  
Kaoru raised her free arm and pressed her face into its sleeve as her breath hitched. "Please." Her kendo had murdered. She was a killer and she had still failed.  
  
"You know how he was about his pride," Kenshin said with a hollow chuckle. "I told him to never grow out of that pride."  
  
Her face hidden by her sleeve, Kaoru nodded as her shoulders began to shake. He hadn't grown out of it, but he would never grow out of anything now. "I… I… miss him," she sniffed.   
  
"He loved you," Kenshin whispered, and squeezed her hand.  
  
"I loved him too!" she cried, flinging her arm away from her eyes as bright streams of tears trickled down her cheeks. Her lips quivered as she tried to form words. "I want him b-back! I want another chance!" Her shoulders heaved as she cried harder. "That's all I want! I'll be stronger…."  
  
Looking pained, Kenshin released her hand. "Ms. Kaoru, if it's not improper of me, I'd like to hold you," he said, managing to sound both bold and sheepish in the same breath.  
  
Scrubbing at her tears, even as sobs caught in her throat, she looked at him with wide eyes.  
  
"Please, may this one comfort you?" he asked earnestly, already sliding closer to her.  
  
Realizing she needed a hug more now than she ever had, she nodded and opened her arms for him. She was quickly sheltered in his embrace as he knelt, his spread knees framing her demurely closed ones, and his strong arms pulling her to his chest.  
  
Thusly sheltered, Kaoru lost herself to the agony that had been twisting at her soul. She cried for what she had done and what she had failed to do, barely aware that Kenshin was stroking her back and whispering calming words in her ear. They stayed that way for longer than either realized.  
  
As her tears stopped coming, Kaoru dug her hands into the worn fabric of Kenshin's faded red dogi jacket and pulled in a deep breath. She didn't want to move. The warmth of his body seemed to sooth her troubled heart. She didn't care if it was improper to be this close to him. She hadn't been truly held by anyone since her mother had died and didn't want the moment to end. She felt safe here, as if none of her problems could touch her.  
  
"Ms. Kaoru?" Kenshin murmured into her hair.  
  
"Mmm?"  
  
"You have got to stop punishing yourself."  
  
"What?" she asked, trying to pull away.  
  
He wouldn't let her. "Sitting in the cold, not eating, not sleeping… These things will not atone for any faults real or imagined."  
  
"Kenshin," she began tiredly.  
  
"This one knows the truth about guilt. That he does," he insisted, his breath a warm puff by her ear.  
  
That struck her. Indeed, Kenshin would understand about guilt and regret. How had she forgotten about that? She nodded into his shoulder, her face still hidden. "Then what can I do?" she whispered hopelessly.  
  
"You go on for those who cannot. It is the only way to repay the debt."  
  
She wasn't certain, but it sounded like he was crying too.  
  
A/N: Here is another little chapter. As always thanks so much for the reviews! They make me all wiggly and happy. Also, thanks go out to those who helped me by providing the proper name for the police chief. Now I just have to find time to go back and fix it. 


End file.
